


the completely obvious reason things didn't work out with martha and the Doctor

by sketchnurse



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gen, awkward dinners, martha's realization is a little cracky, so's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 11:19:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchnurse/pseuds/sketchnurse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River shows up for dinner at Mickey and Martha's. Stories are traded, and Martha has an epiphany, of a sort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the completely obvious reason things didn't work out with martha and the Doctor

So, dinner with the Doctor’s wife? Definitely one of the strangest things ever to happen in their house. (And yes, there have been various degrees of alien invasion, not to mention Mrs. Turner walking in with a plate of biscuits while they were in the middle of a rather fantastic shag.)

Of course, Mickey had been all for letting her in, and no, _no_ , never, that was _nothing_ to do with the impressive display of cleavage or the gun holstered to her hip. She’d been a little more reluctant, since people who knew the Doctor were always a bit iffy, and there was no way to tell if you’d ended up with one of the people who owed him their lives or one of the ones with some alien (or human) grudge against him, at least not until the running and dodging and nearly dying (or lack of). But there was something about this River Song woman that kind of slowed your thoughts down a little, enough that she could just stride right in while you just stood there, blinking. Upon entering, she had proclaimed their home lovely, complimented Mickey on his collection of whiskeys, and began rifling through their cupboards, presumably for something to cook for supper. At least, that had been the most obvious explanation. Knowing the people the Doctor tended to attract, there could have been a far more sinister purpose.

Of course, it all made sense now. River Song, the woman who had married (married!) the Doctor, was tracking down as many old companions as she could, and they had been next on her list. Mickey seemed to be enjoying himself well enough, but it was a little harder for Martha, since this woman _had_ managed something she had failed at herself.

She listened half-heartedly to the story Mickey was telling. It was one he’d never told before, which was annoying, since she’d been under the impression that they’d shared pretty much everything Doctor-related with each other in the five years that they’d been together. It was pretty far-fetched, even as Doctor stories went, though, so it was hard not to pay attention.

“So then he decides that the only way to save Reinette is to burst through this mirror on his bloody horse! Me and Rose both think he’s gone mental, but it all works out, ‘cept for the part where he nearly gets himself trapped in eighteenth century France, and you know Rose really wasn’t pleased with him about that, but off he went! Well, he ends up getting his arse saved by Rose, and me, Mickey the Idiot, and I never let him live _that_ down. Near mad enough to scare me off the TARDIS, that was.”

“You know, I always think that there is no possible way for the Doctor to be more insane than I think he is, and then I hear about things like this. I can’t even begin to count how many times a day I wonder why I’m married to him…”

“You must have the patience of a saint.” Martha says, wondering seriously for the first time whether she’d ever have been up to the task of being married to the Doctor. Mickey was enough of a handful.

“Mmm, probably the only thing I’ll ever have in common with a saint. Not that I’ve gotten any complaints, so far. Well, none from anyone who matters.”

Mickey kind of nodded his head, as if in agreement. “I have to admit, though, she was a looker. Official consort of King Louis the something or other, she was. Madame De Pompadour… Maybe you should go meet her.”

“You know, that does not sound like a bad idea.” That smirk of River’s had to be illegal on at least a quarter of the planets in the universe, Martha thought, a little enviously. “See if she measures up.”

“The Doctor knew how to pick ‘em, gotta say. Wasn’t so nice when it was my girlfriend, mind, but it all worked out.” He smiled at Martha, and wasn’t that just unfair, that he could make her melt like that. He turned back to River. “ ‘Specially since there’s you, now.” River smiled at him., and somehow managed to make that demure smile look naughty. Definitely a force to reckon with.

“He does have a knack for finding the good ones, doesn’t he?” River says, and it _so_ not fair how jealous she does not sound. Trust the universe to find the Doctor the perfect woman, and trust it to drop her on Martha’s doorstep. “Shame I can’t meet all of them.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how many are there? I figure he’s had a few lady friends, bein’ centuries old and all.”

“Oh, not as many as you’d think. He had a wife, on Gallifrey, and a family. Lost, in the Time War, of course. There was another woman, a Time Lady, Romana, and the things I’ve heard about her… Oh, he doesn’t give his heart to just anyone.” Were either of them aware, at all, of the way Martha had felt about the Doctor? Would River, or, God forbid, her _husband_ , maybe clue into the fact that perhaps she didn’t really want to be hearing about how she hadn’t been special enough? Romana, Rose, Reinette, and now River, women who were enough for the Doctor, and then there was Martha, fool enough to follow him and fancy him and all he wanted to do was be her mate. Oh, dinner definitely hadn’t been a good idea.

“Makes me feel a bit better about Rose, at least.”

“I think I want to meet her, most of all.” River confessed, looking, for once, not so completely self-assured. “I don’t know what she’d think of me. She and the Doctor were quite in love, weren’t they?”

“Yes.” Martha said quietly, surprising herself. “They were. Every time we went out, she managed to come up. She sounded like the most amazing woman.”

“Well, she was.” Mickey said, a little sadly. “Not _the_ most amazing.” he amended, catching himself rather quickly, and that warmed Martha, just enough. She knew he wasn’t pining after Rose, not after all of the years that had passed, but sometimes he said things, _people_ said things, and it was a little hard to remember. “That title goes to the lovely Martha Smith.”

“Jones-Smith.” Martha corrected, almost automatically. She smiled to herself. “And thanks, love.” 

“No problem. Yeah, they were wrapped up in each other, alright. I think I knew, right from the start, but what bloke wants to admit he’s losing his girl to a nine hundred year old alien with a ship that can travel through space and time?”

“Not many, I expect.” River said. “Yes, I’d like to meet Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. The Doctor wouldn’t like it if I interfered with his timeline, though, and I don’t know that I’d be able to get close to her without doing that. Shame. Shame she’s also trapped in another universe, come to think of it. Wouldn’t I like to meet the pair of them…” Martha started a little at her tone, because if it had come from someone else’s mouth (a certain fifty-first century man’s, to be specific), she would have assumed a few… _things_.

“Wish I knew what they were up to.” Mickey says, wistfully. “Miss Jake sometimes, too.” Martha looked at her husband and patted his hand gently. “Wish there was some way we could talk to them.” He looked down at his hand and Martha’s, oddly sombre. “If there were,” he said suddenly, after a long pause, “Do you think the Doctor would say?”

“I don’t know. You know how he is. Pretends things don’t hurt him even when it’s obvious to anyone who knows how to look. It might be too painful for him to even consider.”

“Well, I think he should. Tell him Mickey wants to talk to his mates in Pete’s World, next time you see him.”

“I will.” River said, rather sincerely. “Doesn’t mean he’ll listen, but I’ll ask. It’s like, oh, pulling teeth with that man, except you’re using two toothpicks and you’ve got a time limit and he’s trying his hardest to keep them in his gums.”

They were all pretty silent after that, since there was no disputing what River had just said. Martha pushed her food around her plate, wondering how ridiculous they all must look, suddenly fascinated by asparagus and roast potatoes.

She smashed a potato with the back of her spoon, annoyed with the place her thoughts wouldn’t leave. Romana, Rose, Reinette, River… Romana, Rose, Reinette, River…Romana, Rose, Reinette, River… And then, suddenly, it came to her.

“R!” she shouted triumphantly, startling the other people at the table. “That’s why he never fell in love with me; my name doesn’t start with R! Romana, Rose, Reinette, _River_ , they all start with R!”

She looked back and forth between Mickey and River’s faces, not really caring about how widely she smiled. At last. The reason she’d never got anywhere with him, and it was perfect, and absolutely nothing to do with her.

“Absolutely right, Martha. Your name starts with M. Never had a chance.” Mickey said, breaking out in a grin, and leaned in to kiss her. She smiled against his lips.

“So,” River said, after letting them have their moment, “Who wants to hear some of _my_ stories?” For the first time since this strange woman had invited herself into their home, Martha really, really did.

A few minutes later, Martha thought, painfully, that she’d never think of Stetsons, grape jelly, and industrial strength pipe cleaners in the same way again…  

**Author's Note:**

> Has anyone else noticed?


End file.
